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NEWS FLASH — NEW ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS FOR WINE MAY SOON BE ISSUED!

John Tilson • 3/31/12        Print This Post Print This PostComment Bookmark and Share

The issue of alcohol in wine has been a huge controversy as of late. But, if there is any truth at all to what my Underground sleuths have turned up, this could all be moot. You see, there are  newly circulated wine warning labels that go far beyond the scope of anything yet proposed. They may be directed toward cutting down the alcohol in many high alcohol wines which is a good thing. But, like many other things, there may also be unintended consequences.  Here is what we could be facing. Alcohol could be in jeopardy! Alcohol could become a banned substance! We may all be faced with drinking alcohol free wines. How much fun would that be? You need to check in on this. This is life style altering stuff!

As shown below, there are a total of 10 proposals. Comment is being solicited for only 30 days. After that it could all be over… So check out what the Feds have for us now! And, if you care, speak up!

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think that you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think that you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a donkey.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.  (And, if you are a guy, this is a REAL problem, not withstanding the last warning below.)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Do you have any particular thoughts or favorites? If so, please send them along to someone who cares. APRIL FOOL!

Time for Deja Vu? (click here)

In Vino Veritas,Santa Cruz Mountain Vineyard

John Tilson

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2 comments for “NEWS FLASH — NEW ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS FOR WINE MAY SOON BE ISSUED!”

  • Blake Brown says:

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you want to work for the BATF and design labels.

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