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EXCLUSIVE NEWS FLASH!

John Tilson • 4/1/13        Print This Post Print This PostComment Bookmark and Share

 NEWS FLASH 1

HOT NEWS ON SOME NEW INEXPENSIVE BIG NUMBERS WINES & A CHANCE TO MAKE SOME REAL BUCKS!

Two buck chuck is now 3 buck chuck, a victim of the increasing cost of producing wine in California (To read an article on 2 buck chuck click here). And the Big Kahuna wines at 2 bucks look like they are headed for a wipe-out (To read an article on the Big Kahuna wines click here)

But have no fear. Help is near. I just got news of something really big from friends in the Far East and the Far South. This is an Underground exclusive which is sure to hit the major media just as soon as they can figure out the East-South connection. Check out this news!

A big discount chain with headquarters in the Southern U.S. is about to blow the cork out of wine prices. They will be offering big numbers wines at the $2-3 price point. The key will be branding and marketing and making sure the wines get the “big numbers”. The discount chain is a well known name which they will use on the label with their trademark logo. The big numbers will come from a newly formed company in the Far East who will be translating the big numbers for American consumers. They are calling it “role reversal” and a major change in the way wine is scored. But, in keeping with tradition, there will be no disclosure as to how the wines are tasted or evaluated. Reportedly, so far over $100 million has been spent in consumer wine surveys and wine give-a-ways in getting ready for the launch, but there is an unlimited budget! And, there are even rumors that the 2 companies may be combined. OMG, where is this going?

This is a really big deal! And it marks a historic association between the East and West and the Far South. There will be a huge range of wines with the focus on American and Far East consumers. And, since there is the Southern connection there will be a real push to increase consumption of wine in that area by making the names readily identifiable. Also, part of the plan is familiar names for the novice Far East consumers. Another push for all these wines is that since they have big numbers with the Far East stamp, the big wines will match with the regional cuisine. For the American palate, so far the top food recommendations are: for white wines and white meat, positively possum pudding; and, for red wines and red meat, simply squirrel stew. For the Far East palate, the choices are knock off thousand year old egg foo young for the white wines, and oriental spice minced rat dim sum for the red wines.

The big discount chain is also paying $5 per vote for anyone who casts a vote and can verify that they are dedicated to buying and drinking wines with big numbers. And, there is a chance to win $10,000 for every name chosen by their secret panel of expert judges. The survey will be over soon, but you can still cast your vote by clicking on the link at the end of this article. The selection of  names will take at least several weeks after the survey is completed. But, my Underground sources were  able to get a list of the names already chosen for some of the new wines. Here is that list:

Great White Hope
Big Red Gulp
World Championship Reeseling
Nascarbernet
Nbalbareeno
Chunky Peanut Noir
Redbug Burgundee
Shatoe Traileur Parc
Ramblinwreck Rosé
Rseecola Sinfandell
Pino Grease
Whitetrash Burgundee
Moonshine Shablee
Holeeroller Kuvay Red and White Wine
Chiggers Sharbono
Chef Boyardough
Bentonville Boojoelay
Outta Here Over There
Singapoursling Sylvainer
Grape Expectations 4 Me or U?
Shaky Shardoughnay
Sign Yo Skrotum
Taa-nin Tow-k
Migrane Malobeck
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar
Screaming Monkey
Nasti Spufullmonte
Ksayrahsayrah

Reportedly there will be at least a hundred wines offered to correspond with the big numbers. But, there are also rumors that both of these may be raised to 1000! Can you top these names? If so, this is a great opportunity with most of the names yet to be selected. The Underground has just given you inside information by disclosing the names already chosen. And, armed with this exclusive Underground information, your picks are more likely to be winners! (To learn the name of the Southern discount chain that will be selling the wines, as well as to register to earn $5 per vote for up to 20 names ($100 limit) with a chance to win $10,000 for each name chosen, you just need to click on the link at the bottom.) But, remember the deadline is close at hand. So act now! Opportunities like this are as rare as hen’s teeth!!     CLICK HERE

 

In Vino Veritas,Sig

John Tilson

 

 

 

 

Post a Comment

3 comments for “EXCLUSIVE NEWS FLASH!”

  1. Happy April Fool’s Day!

    Posted by dan collins | April 2, 2013, 1:58 pm
  2. Wine naming has become so bizarre, inappropriate and unfunny that I fell for your scheme, and it’s three days after April Fools.

    Guess you can be stupid any day of the week, but do take inspiration from your own Foolishness and get us some of those wines in the stores.

    Can’t wait to drink them.

    Posted by Paula Ceder | April 4, 2013, 7:03 pm
  3. Hi Paula,
    You are right! Some things in the wine world have gotten really whacky. That’s why I believe that life is too short to drink bad wine and that life is also too short not to have fun along the way. I hope you enjoyed my little April Fool joke. But, while this was offered as a joke, there are many things in the new whacky world of wine that are offered as truth that are, in fact, just a joke. Consider some of the big numbers wines descriptions. You can read some of those in this article http://www.undergroundwineletter.com/2012/01/birds-of-a-feather-laughable-wine-descriptions/. You can also find this and other similar articles by using the using the search engine on the home page and also by scrolling down though the Underground Wineline articles.
    I will leave it up to the market to decide which wines to name, make, and sell. My mission is to provide the most accurate descriptions I can of the wines that I like that are balanced and food friendly. I advise everyone to “drink what you like and like what you drink!” And, along the way be sure to have fun and not be intimidated by a lot of the noise and numbers! Enjoy the Underground!
    In Vino Veritas,
    John

    Posted by John Tilson | April 5, 2013, 9:35 am

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